Hey there Reader,
What Do You Hear When You Talk To Yourself?
What if one of the most powerful practices shaping our lives is the way we speak to ourselves, yet we rarely question it.
I’ve been reading a book called Talk to Yourself Like a Buddhist. I haven’t finished it yet, but it’s already resonated deeply. I’ve always been drawn to Buddhist belief systems, and loving-kindness — maitri — is something I’ve consciously adopted in my life and my work.
What keeps standing out to me is this:
we rarely question the validity of our own self-talk.
If we don’t question the assumptions built into the way we speak to ourselves, we simply accept them as truth. And often, that inner dialogue isn’t kind.
You’re struggling with something. You make a mistake. You feel like you’re failing.
And the voice comes in:
Look at me. I’m a failure.
I did it again.
I can’t figure anything out.
Why does this always happen to me?
That kind of questioning sets us up for negativity. We’re unlikely to get anything useful from it. More often, it becomes a quiet confirmation of our worst fears, a way of reinforcing doubt rather than understanding.
I saw this clearly when I retired from my life’s work.
For over 30 years, I worked in the field of victim services, supporting people through crisis, trauma, loss, and moments when life felt overwhelming and disorienting. It was work I deeply believed in. It wasn’t about money or prestige, it never was. It felt meaningful. Important. Like I was part of something bigger.
But after 32 years, I was tired. Exhausted. Burnt out in certain ways. I knew I was past my time there, and I left.
I didn’t regret that decision. In many ways, it felt right quite quickly. But what followed was a very real adjustment.
Who am I now?
How do I live differently?
What needs healing?
What’s possible for me next?
Retirement can be exciting and it can also be deeply unsettling. The transition isn’t simple, and it isn’t always positive. As I began building something new, my coaching work, which I truly love, I also ran straight into my own self-talk.
When things felt hard, when the learning curve was steep, when technical challenges or business questions piled up, the old voice showed up again.
Who do you think you are?
You were good at that work, but this?
You don’t really have what it takes.
For me the coaching was the joy, it was the building of the business that was the stressful part.
And if I’m honest, that voice hasn’t fully disappeared. There are still moments of doubt and imposter syndrome. Questions about whether I’m doing this the right way, whether I’m being authentic, whether I’m trying too hard to figure things out.
Layer upon layer of questioning and the temptation to let those thoughts define me.
This is where maitri matters most.
Not as a concept, but as a practice.
Not in being done with the doubt, but in how we meet ourselves when it shows up.
This is why changing the language we use with ourselves has to be a priority.
Not someday, now. Because every time we let a negative thought run unchecked, we strengthen it. We ingrain it. Our brains start to believe it simply because we keep repeating it.
Loving-kindness only works when we’re conscious enough to catch the moment it shows up and interrupt it.
To say: No. That was then. This is now. This could happen to anyone. This is hard, but it’s not who I am. I am capable of this.
When we alter how we think about things, we don"t necessarily make life easy, but we do move through it with more grace.
This process can repeat over the course of our life and through that we’re meant to grow and to come out the other side with more awareness, more skill, and more of our true self intact.
That is why challenging how we talk to ourselves isn't optional. It's essential.
Sometimes the most important thing we can say to ourselves is:
This is hard.
And I’m still okay.
I’ve had moments where I’ve had to ask myself whether to quit or stay. And while quitting isn’t always wrong, I do believe this: not giving up on yourself matters.
If the path needs to change, that doesn’t mean the road you’ve already walked was wrong. Sometimes it means a detour. A redirection. Something deeper.
This is still a process for me. Development takes time. I believe it always will.
And whether you’re navigating a new career, a relationship change, a financial challenge, or a decision that feels heavy and unclear — be kind to yourself.
The way you talk to yourself in these moments matters more than you think.
UPCOMING: February 4 & 11 | 5:30–8:30pm
This is the final invitation before we gather.
The Confident Woman – A Values-Led Vision Workshop is a two-part, in-person experience for women who are ready to make a meaningful change to get a better result.
Not by doing more.
Not by forcing change.
But by digging deeper, listening inward, and getting clear about what truly matters now.
Over two evenings, we’ll create time for discovery, challenging those limiting beliefs and build a powerful supportive framework to explore:
- Your core values and how they are shaping (or asking to reshape) this time of your life
- What you want to move toward — with clarity that feels grounded and honest
- An intuitive vision map and a traditional vision board, allowing insight to come from both inner wisdom and conscious intention
- Simple, practical ways to stay connected to your vision long after the workshop ends
This work weaves together mind, body, and spirit, because confidence isn’t something you “think” your way into.
It’s something you become open to and allow in. As you grow so does your confidence.
If you’ve been craving clarity, steadiness, and a deeper trust in your own direction — this space is for you.
Investment: $175 for both evenings
✨ This is the final opportunity to join before we begin.
I would love for you to be a part of this. Click below for more details.